I have been basically ignoring this blog for the last year. This fact actually saddens me greatly and I am making a commitment to myself that I am getting back on here, with or without pictures. I am looking into some other options for a new blog so that I can start posting pictures again but until then, I will write our story. I have thousands of pictures and always will have them. But I will not remember all of the details of my life with my husband and kids and I absolutely must document as much as I can. I know I LOVE going back and reading my old posts and I hope that one day our kids will love it just as much as I do. I just now went back and read my post about losing our baby and cried through the whole thing. I am so thankful to have our family story documented here in this blog. I know a few family members read it but other than that it is for us. My little family of four and any others God blesses us with in the future. I have no idea how I am going to recap everything that has happened this year but I am going to try. And it will take a few posts to do.
I would consider this year the year of tragedy. I don't want to sound dramatic but it really has been a year filled with sadness. Of course, every moment with our kids brings us joy but along with that joy has been great loss.
But before I go into any of that can I say something sweet about my sensitive Carter man? Boy, do I love that kid! His preschool teacher talked to me last week about something that had happened during show and tell. Carter was showing his fire truck (what else would our guy bring for show and tell?) and another little boy kept interrupting him and talking about Carter's fire truck. He even corrected Carter for saying fire engine and told him it was called a fire truck. The teacher has a rule that you do not get to talk while someone is sharing their show and tell so she asked him to stop and let Carter talk. He didn't and even gave the teacher a really sassy look. So she had him sit in time out and he didn't get to share his show and tell that day. When the teacher told the kids they were all done with show and tell, Carter was extremely sad that Noah didn't get to show his and immediately told his teacher that Noah needed to go before they were done. She explained why he didn't get to and she said Carter was very sad for his friend Noah. I know this isn't a big deal but to me it was a little glimpse into his sweet heart that I have always hoped and prayed for in my sons someday. I know Carter is sweet and cares so much about others and that was another example of that. It melted me.
Anyway, this year...
Just in 2014 we have lost Jay's uncle Dave to a brain tumor, my Grandma, our baby, my uncle Don to a massive heart attack, and Jay's dad to liver cancer. Isn't that a lot in one year? Neither one of us have ever dealt with loss in this way before. I do want to talk about each one of these losses and the impact on our family and our lives but I probably won't go into it yet in this post. It has just been a really rough year in general and we are looking forward to a new year (in just a few weeks) and hoping that our loss is over with for a while.
In happy news though we also found out this year that we are expecting another baby again! I am 16 weeks pregnant with baby number 3 (although this is pregnancy number 5) and we are anxiously awaiting for spring to bring this baby into the world. After losing our last baby at 12 weeks this has been a very long and anxiety driven pregnancy. But we have had an ultrasound and we heard the baby's heartbeat at 13 weeks so we have hope that this baby will continue growing and be in our arms at the end of April 2015. We are so thankful that I am able to get pregnant easily and that I know I can carry healthy babies to full term. We now just wait patiently and pray a lot for this life growing inside of me. We didn't tell our kids about this one until I was almost 12 weeks and we had already had an ultrasound. I just couldn't handle the thought of putting them through that again.
Well, I think that's all for now! But I will be back to post more about our year very soon.
